Why do birds fly south in winter? Because it's too far to walk.

1. David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and terrible vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that werent expletives were, to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the birds attitude. He was constantly saying polite words and playing soft music, he did anything he could think of. Nothing worked. When he yelled at the bird, the bird got worse. If he shook the bird, the bird got madder and ruder. Finally in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then suddenly, there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Davids extended arm and said: "Im sor

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2. Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?A: To prove he wasnt chicken.

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3. What's a robin? A bird that steals.

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4. Why do baby birds never smile? Would you smile if your mother fed you worms for dinner every night.

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5. What game do mother hens play with their babies? Peck-a-boo.

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6. What kind of bird eats the same worm eight times? A swallow with the hiccups.

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7. A man with a talking parrot is getting married. On the day of the wedding he says to the parrot "Now look here, I know you are always sat in that window sticking your beak in, when me and my new wife get back from the wedding I want you to turn round and and no matter what you hear I do not want you to turn back or Ill break your neck, do you understand?" The parrot reluctantly agrees.On returning from the wedding the parrot turns round as instructed, and behind him the bride and groom start to pack for the honeymoon. The wife however has packed too much and they cant get the case closed. "Get on top and sit on it baby!" Says the man the woman does so and grunts and moans but cant shut the case. "You get on top baby it might be better" Says the wife, so the man grunts and groans and tries his best but still c

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8. On which side does an eagle have the most feathers? The outside.

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9. If ten birds were sitting on a bench and you shot one, how many would be left? None. They would all fly away.

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10. Why do birds fly south in winter? Because it's to far to walk.

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