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Short JOKES
1.
"Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."
"Next time, take off the candles."
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2.
At what time did God create Adam? A little before Eve.
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3.
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho-path.
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4.
How do you make a sausage roll? Push it.
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5.
How many sides does a box have? Two. The inside and the outside.
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6.
What always goes up in smoke? A Fire.
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7.
What animals are poor dancers?
Four-legged ones, because they have two left feet.
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8.
What did one bee say to her nosey neighbour bee? 'Mind your own bess wax.'
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9.
What did one wig say to the other? 'I love you so much I'd even curl up and dye for you.'
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10.
What did the water say to the boat? Nothing, it just waved.
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11.
What do you call a hot-dog who always speaks his mind? A frank-furter.
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12.
What do you call just married spiders?
Newly-webs.
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13.
What do you get if you cross a ham and a karate expert? Pork chops.
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14.
What do you use when a tree has a puncture? A lumberjack.
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15.
What has wings, smokes, and waks on ceilings? A fire breathing dragonfly.
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16.
What is big, likes peanuts, and has a trunk? An oak tree with a squirrel in it.
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17.
What sort of meat do karate experts prefer? Chops.
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18.
What's a frog's favourite drink?
Croak-a-cola.
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19.
What's the longest word in the dictionary? Smiles. There's a mile between the first and last letter.
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20.
Where can you always find a helping hand? At the end of your arm.
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21.
Where do geologists go to have a good time? To Rock Festivals.
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22.
Why did Robin Hood only rob the rich? Because the poor had no money.
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23.
Why do tigers have stripes? Because they'd look funny in polka dots.
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