1. First apple: You look down in the dumps. Whats eating you? Second apple: Worms, I think.

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2. If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? It keeps everyone away.

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3. The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. "Youve got to help me! Theres a giant gray thing in my yard, and its pulling apples off the tree with its tail!" "Whats he doing with the apples?" the sergeant asked. "If I told you," the woman cried, "you wouldnt believe me!"

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4. What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!

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5. What is most like half an apple? The other half.

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6. What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm!

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7. What''s worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Finding half a maggot.

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8. Why didnt the two worms go into Noahs ark in an apple?Because everyone had to go in pairs!

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9. Why does the apple tree cry? Because people always pick on it.

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